On Friday morning I woke up to some interesting articles in the Australian media.  No, not the ones about Kim Jong Un (though there was a funny one that said he needed some Supernanny style discipline), but one from The Canberra Times entitled "Seven convincing reasons to have babies" and one from News.com.au, called "Having kids is my biggest regret".  
The former was a light hearted, cheeky look at all the 'benefits' of having a child, such as buying yourself gifts that you claim are for your baby (if you had any money to spend, that is).  The latter is a heart-felt and somewhat distressing confession from a woman who never wanted children but had two.  She still loves them, as any parent would, but resents all the things in life that they had taken from her.  
The first article was quite amusing, and I shared it immediately with Megan.  While it identified several, ultimately negative aspects of having children, the aspect was very positive, conceding that yes, parents were always going to be worse off after accepting the responsibility of a child, but the trade off was more than worth it.  
The second article I didn't really want Megan to see - not that I ever think she would regret having our child or the change in our lifestyle once the baby arrives.  What was most gripping was the serious nature of the story and how long this lady had tolerated her burden.
"Like parasites, my children would take from me"
The first article dismissed all of its points with humourous flippancy, but the second article is the one that sticks in my mind.  Her sadness and the ultrasensitive nature of her disclosure is hard to look past - a mother that regrets having her babies is a shocking though.  
For me, the scariest part is that it is so possible, and this lady can't be the only person out there thinking these things - she's simply the one putting her feelings into words, putting her story on-line for the world to see and to judge.  I don't condemn her for airing her thoughts, she is neither right nor wrong and I applaud her for her courage and honesty, but I do think it's unfortunate - for both her and her children.  
It makes me wonder, as much as I hope that we will love our children as much as possible, will we?  We think we are prepared for the sacrifices we will have to make, and only time can tell if we will be up to the challenge.  I hold every confidence that we will be caring, loving, nurturing parents, and hopefully this article will serve as a reminder so that we continue to be as good as we can when our little one arrives.  

The full article can be read here.  
 


Amy
04/07/2013 6:33pm

I also read the latter article. It shocked me too. Ive never heard anyone say something like that!
I cant imagine ever wishing that I had not had Malachi! He is such a massive part of our lives and we could never imagine him not being there! Sure, there are times when you think.. I just need time ALONE (especially at the moment and when I need to visit the restroom or have a shower and I have him attached to my leg as per toddlers do!). Or the times when you could just go out and party and not have to worry about anyone but your own person for a night, but in saying that I could never imagine being that person again anyway! (besides its a lot more of an effort to "party" these days - nothing to do with having a child but more so old age!)
There is a quote I heard recently "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." It is so true. I don't know how I can ever love anything more than I do my son. I find it hard to imagine having the power to love more than one! The love you have for your child is massively overwhelming, its frightening! You and Megan will love them as much as possible, there is no way that you can't! xo

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