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Today we got the chance to get out & celebrate a little; our friends have just had their own baby girl, it was Father's Day back home, and we really needed to get out of the house. 

Of course it didn't all go totally to plan, but it was a very enjoyable afternoon.  I think I've come to accept the fact that I will never again be able to guarantee punctuality, and Ava will most likely need feeding at the most inconvenient of times.  It will probably be another 20 years before we get to have a proper meal all at the same time, in the same place, with everyone being happy...  Never the less, Ava caught some sun & we got to have a nice lunch with our friends, even if it was a lot shorter & far less boozy than our usual lunches.  My first Father's Day was a pretty good one!

One thing that has got us concerned, however, is Ava's weight.  She still hasn't regained her birth weight, which makes us nervous, and of course raises other questions about why she hasn't done this.  So far she's a happy, healthy baby.  She wakes up right on time for feeds (if not a bit more frequently than we'd like), and she's not screaming the house down (most of the time).   She doesn't want for anything, and feeds more often than anyone else in the household, so why isn't she gaining...... 

It has made us question the value of all these late-night feeds & all the pain that Megan's going through.  Should we give up on breastfeeding?  Should we start her on formula?  Would it make a difference?  Should we have put her on formula earlier?  Have we wasted the last few weeks through trying to breastfeed?  Have we given her enough nutrition?  Have we set her growth back by not starting formula earlier? 

Of course all babies are different and there's no quick way of determining whether or not there's anything wrong with her development.  Unfortunately this is one of those things that we just need to wait out.  We have found some heartening links, though, which make it not feel so bad (of course, out of all of this, I'm the one getting away the easiest).  Here and here are some kind words written by other mothers about the pains & torments that they've all suffered, and the glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel that makes it all worthwhile.  It's still difficult to see at the moment, but I'm sure with enough patience and perseverance, we'll all get there in the end. 

Ava is slowly putting weight on, little by little, and seems to be getting much longer.  Hopefully it means that she'll start growing bigger soon, and we can relax a little.  I'm confident that she'll be ok, but at the moment it's a nervous little wait...

 


Danielle
09/01/2013 4:11pm

Elizabeth Stone once said “Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ”

It is so true - it is agonising to not be able to help your tiny baby when you think they need it! We went through a lot of pain with Carter at first too - if Ava is happy and the doctors say she is ok then it will all work out :)

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Tom
09/02/2013 4:31am

Hey Bud!
Stress less about baby weight my friend. breast milk is a thousand times better than formula. Obviously Bri has been through this, Grietja was slow to regain her weight. I personally think it's better in the long run, and if she's lengthening then she's growing fine. Humans don't grow any more fat cells after the first 6 months of worldly living and it's my belief that formula fed bubbas turn into formula fed buddhas and this can adversely affect them for the rest of their lives. If she is happy, healthy and feeding then the weight increase will come :)
Take care!

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